


I Don't Want To Be Like Your Peanut Butter and Jelly

by Ribbons_Undone



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Loves Peanut Butter and Jelly (Supernatural), Confessions, Kissing, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), episode tag: s12e12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27787831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribbons_Undone/pseuds/Ribbons_Undone
Summary: Post s12e12 "Stuck In The Middle (With You)". There's something Dean needs Cas to understand.He really doesn't want to be like peanut butter and jelly.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 103





	I Don't Want To Be Like Your Peanut Butter and Jelly

* * *

_“I love you.”_

The words kept reverberating around in his head, relentless, unending. _I love you. I love you. I love you._

It was driving him mad.

Dean sat in the main room of the bunker now, pretending to be reading a book on werewolf mating habits because he’d been meaning to since the whole Garth thing but really it was just something to try and distract his mind away from the infuriating loop happening in his brain.

_“You are my family. I love you. I love you all of you.”_

Dean held his face in his hands and leaned out over the table, closing his eyes. He tried to quiet the voice. He tried doubly hard to scrub the image of Cas slowly dying on some run-down, dusty barn sofa out of his head. He tried thinking about something else—anything else. He failed on all accounts.

_“I love you_. _I love you.”_

“Dean?”

A hand settled on his shoulder.

“Wha—!?” Dean started and nearly fell out of his chair at the sound of that low, gravelly voice. “ _Cas_! What have I said about sneaking up on people?” Dean reprimanded. He leaned back in the chair and fought to keep a straight face, fought to calm the heat that was rushing to his cheeks for being caught thinking about _those words_ like a fucking thirteen-year-old girl.

“I announced myself to you but you seemed deep in thought. I, ahh…didn’t mean to startle you,” Cas said.

Dean took a deep breath and shrugged out from under his hand.

“It’s fine, Cas. I was just… Never mind. What’s up?”

He could pretend everything was still normal between them, right? They didn’t have to talk about _that thing_ that happened earlier.

“Dean, I ahh…wanted to make sure you were alright after the—after what happened in the barn,” Castiel said hesitantly.

“I’m fine. Really, Cas, there’s nothing to talk about,” Dean insisted, “You were dying, I get it. Things got…intense there, toward the end.”

“Dean, I meant what I said,” Castiel said softly.

Dean winced and dragged a hand along the back of his neck. He sighed.

“I know you did, buddy,” he murmured. He didn’t look up, but kept staring at the table, eyes tracing the map laid out across it. Tracing the borders of Africa, Indonesia, Ecuador…

“I…ah…thought it was customary to discuss these types of…of situations,” Castiel said hesitantly. He was struggling, Dean could tell, to get the words out. To find the right human words. He was trying to be human for Dean, as he always did, and not the angel that he actually was. Which…why did that piss him off so much?

“Yeah, ours isn’t exactly what I’d call a ‘customary’ situation,” Dean mumbled. He flipped a few of the pages of the book he had been attempting to read back and forth, frowning. “Cas, I know you meant what you said, but listen, I…don’t think you really get what that means down here. To a human.”

Dean winced as he said it. He could sense the droop in Castiel’s shoulders without needing to look up. He could feel the slow, repetitious nod that Castiel did to try and convince himself that Dean was right—of course Dean was right, because Dean was the human here and he’d been right about so many other things.

But…

“Then tell me, Dean,” Castiel said, “Teach me as you have been attempting to teach me…other human things.”

“Cas, no. Just…no, okay?” Dean rose up from the table, avoiding eye contact. “Yeah, this isn’t going to fly. Sorry. I…” Dean shook his head. “I just can’t, okay? I’m sorry.”

He started to turn from the room, but suddenly there was an angel in front of him.

“Dean, why not?” Castiel asked him.

Dean blinked, wishing he had that fancy ability to just disappear on a whim. He really didn’t want to explain this to Cas, wasn’t sure he would even get it.

Cas lowered his head and spoke to the floor.

“I realize this vessel isn’t exactly…what you are used to. Perhaps I can find another… _more agreeable_ one but…well, that will take time. If you will tell be a set of acceptable human traits I can begin the search immediately.”

“Woah, Cas—hang on a second,” Dean blurted. “I—no. That’s not what I want.”

Castiel squinted up at him.

“You are being contradictory,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Dean turned away and paced a few steps, running his hands through his hair. He was going to have to say it.

“Cas, I don’t want to be like PB and J,” he blurted out.

“What?”

Castiel tilted his head with those confused, _I don’t understand_ puppy dog blue eyes and just stared at him.

“I’m not just a pile of molecules, Cas,” Dean tried to explain, “I don’t want to be just a mushed up heap of tasteless atoms that you try to eat cuz you think—”

_You think you love me_.

“You are not just a pile of atoms to me, Dean,” Castiel insisted. He still looked confused. Perhaps bewildered was a better term for it.

“Cas, you can’t even eat a fucking sandwich so what the hell do you know about it?” Dean countered.

Castiel frowned a little at that and stepped closer, peering at Dean in that intense, ultra-focused way of his.

“I can eat a sandwich just fine,” he argued.

“Yeah, but you can’t _taste_ it.”

“I taste it,” Cas insisted. “I just…taste all of it. All at once. Individually and…” He trailed off, his eyes dropping to Dean’s mouth, where Dean was frowning at him with an annoyed quirk to his lips that pressed them together in the subtlest of pouts and…

And what would it _taste_ like? Atoms? Molecules? Or just…Dean? Pure uninhibited _Dean Winchester_. His friend. His—

Castiel stepped closer and pressed his lips to Dean’s mouth. He kept his eyes open. He remembered later that he was supposed to have closed them, but in the moment he forgot. So he saw everything that crossed Dean’s face when he kissed him. The pain, the heartache, the longing, the—the _tenderness_ when Dean kissed him back, sliding a hand behind his head to brace them together.

Ah, physics. Now this part of kissing made more sense to him.

Close the eyes. Right. Castiel did so and took a deep breath in through his nose, pressing closer. Opening his mouth wider, chasing Dean’s lips with his own as he tried to pull back but Castiel refused to let it end just yet and pushed for more, crushing their mouths together in heated _want_. Slid his tongue along Dean’s bottom lip just to see how it would taste and then slipped it inside his mouth when he gasped and it fell open in surprise. Grunted at the feel of _Dean’s_ tongue sliding against his—that sharp, dirty, beautiful muscle.

_More_.

In an instant Castiel felt a rush of desire that had him breaking off in a gasp, craving air—craving _Dean_ in any way he could get. It scared him, and he took a couple steps back to get it under control.

The desire to possess… was this a human trait? Or an inhuman one? He couldn’t tell.

One thing he knew for certain. The kiss had not at _all_ tasted like peanut butter and jelly.

Dean pressed a hand over his mouth and looked down, frozen in the moment that hung between them, with Castiel still breathing heavily and tingling all over in overwhelming waves of desire, attempting to reign it all back before his vessel exploded in twenty different directions.

“Yeah. Yeah, that was…” Dean started to say.

“ _Dean_ ,” Castiel said. There was a pleading line in his voice. His brain was having trouble thinking clearly. All he wanted was to be closer, _closer, closer_. Impossibly close. Addictively close.

“Dean, that tasted _nothing_ like peanut butter and jelly,” Castiel said in a gust, the whining edge in his voice crying out in overwhelment, and not knowing what to do about it. “Dean, what _is_ this?”

His voice held more panic now, as the energy under his skin burned.

“Hey, hey I don’t know. You gotta calm _down_ , Cas!” Dean was saying. His green eyes darted everywhere, trying to figure out what was happening, hands following as he checked for any physical wounds—which he knew was pretty much a waste of time because this was in no way a _physical_ wound. “Cas, calm down. That’s it. Take a deep breath in, let it out your nose… Okay, that’s okay, let’s try it again. Relax, Cas. I got you. I got you.”

As Dean smooth-talked the angel off the ledge he slid his hands around to the back of his neck and folded himself against the firm line of that suit, holding him close. He felt Castiel melt into his embrace, heard his breathing slow back down to normal.

“Perhaps…we had better take this slow,” Castiel said after a minute.

Dean pulled back and smiled at him.

“You mean, molecule by molecule kinda slow?” he asked.

At Castiel’s confused nod, Dean leaned in and kissed him—excruciatingly slow, his lips like curtains in the wind brushing first and then blooming in further until they softly caressed the smooth pane of lips underneath. He pulled back just as slowly.

“Kinda like that?” Dean asked for clarification.

This time Castiel’s nod was eager, his blue eyes intensely focused.

“Yes. Exactly like that, Dean. I want to taste you molecule by molecule.”

Dean quirked his lips at the corners into a sly smile.

“Yeah, okay,” he said with half a shrug, “I think I can dig that.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
> So I couldn't stop thinking about this episode until I had written something for it, so I decided a different, humorous yet still smokin' hot and tender take would do. I hope y'all like it. :D


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